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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (10979)	8/10/1999 8:35:00 AM
From: Carole Olkowski	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

>>> **Now the updated version for the '90s woman: >>> >>> 1. Have dinner ready. Make reservations ahead of time. If your day > >>> becomes too hectic, just leave him a voice mail message regarding >>> where you'd >>> like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has >>> been >>> crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood. >>> >>> 2. Prepare yourself. A quick stop at the Lancome counter on your >way >>> home will do wonders for your outlook and will deep you from becoming > >>> irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget to use his >>> credit card!) >>> >>> 3. Clear away the clutter. Call the housekeeper and tell her that >>> any >>> miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed >in >>> the Goodwill box in the garage. >>> >>> 4. Prepare the children. Send the children to their rooms to watch >>> television or play Nintendo. After all, both of them are from his >>> previous >>> marriages. >>> >>> 5. Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be > >>> in the bathroom with the door locked. >>> >>> 6. Some DONT'S: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let >>> him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and > >>> remain >>> fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for > >>> dinner, >>> simply remind himthat the leftovers are in the fridge and you left >the >>> dishes >>> for him to do. >>> >>> 7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if >he's >>> cold. This will really show you care. >>> >>> 8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word. >>> >>> 9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out > >>> to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go >>> shopping >>> (use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase "Girl's night > >>> out". >>> >>> 10. The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that > >>> he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong, >>> it >>> revolves around you. >>> >>> Courage has genious, power and magic in it.

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (10979)	8/10/1999 9:04:00 AM
From: Buckey	Respond to of 62549

In case anyone thinks the Home economics quote is made up - I have the photocpy somehere of the actual text - I gave it to my wife shortly before I wpke up unconscious in the hospital <vbg> Caole - Very good 90s version

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (10979)	8/10/1999 10:06:00 AM
From: Sailor	Respond to of 62549

Carole...why did you post the 50's version in a laughter thread? Makes perfectly good sense to me....;-) Sailor

To: Carole Olkowski who wrote (10979)	8/10/1999 10:14:00 AM
From: Mike 2.0	Respond to of 62549

Carole, you forgot to mention that women should also realize it is common courtesy for the woman to make the bed...after the mailman, plumber and grocery boy have left that is ;-)