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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11475)	9/10/1999 11:28:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?" "Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the balls. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11475)	9/10/1999 11:30:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Respond to of 62549

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way." ___________________________________________________________ The wife chewed out her husband at the company picnic. "Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up to the buffet table five times?" "Not a bit," he replied. "I just tell them I'm filling up the plate for you."

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (11475)	9/10/1999 11:32:00 PM
From: Peter S. Maroulis	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

HOW TO WIN A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO WIN A MAN Show up naked. Bring food.