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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SofaSpud who wrote (11788)	9/30/1999 7:02:00 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62552

One day Timmy is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked. Timmy replies, "My goldfish died, and I'm burying him." "That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. Timmy shot back, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat!'

To: SofaSpud who wrote (11788)	9/30/1999 9:58:00 PM
From: Ian@SI	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

It's a true story. It actually landed at an old RCAF base in Gimli, Manitoba. I believe the 767 was one of the first jets that could actually glide reasonably well without power.

To: SofaSpud who wrote (11788)	10/1/1999 8:55:00 AM
From: Tony McFadden	Respond to of 62552

sofatater, I was living in Saskatchewan when that happened -- remember it on the news at the time. There's a made-for-TV movie [that isn't half bad] about it also. T.

To: SofaSpud who wrote (11788)	10/1/1999 4:20:00 PM
From: SofaSpud	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."' LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania. LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids. LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - When ... uh ... what's a climax? LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi." LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room. MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch about work. LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks. LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings. LUST -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around. MARRIAGE - When you're only concern as to what's on TV. LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. LUST - When you only see each other naked. MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them. LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them. LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is your only thought. LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner. LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner. MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score. LOVE - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk. LUST-When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex. MARRIAGE- When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement. LOVE- You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts. LUST- You only leave the house to buy condoms and Vaseline. MARRIAGE- You only leave the house when you're allowed.