Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JakeStraw who wrote (11801)	10/1/1999 10:41:00 AM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62551

You know you've joined a redneck HMO if: -The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's > > Directions to the Dr's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park" > > -The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles > > > > -The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter > > > > -The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy > > -Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill > > last month > > > > -Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day" > > > > -Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill > > > > -The only 100% covered expense is embalming > > > > And the best one: > > Your Viagra prescription includes a popsicle stick and some duct tape!

To: JakeStraw who wrote (11801)	10/1/1999 12:21:00 PM
From: SIer formerly known as Joe B.	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62551

>A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to >examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be >buried or cremated. > >As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be >cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Schwartz had the >longest penis he had ever seen! > >"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't >send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis >like this. It has to be saved for posterity." > >And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead >man's schlong. > >The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it >home. The first person he showed was his wife. "I have >something to show you that you won't believe," he said, >and opened his briefcase. > >"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"