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To: Mephisto who wrote (12094)	10/20/1999 1:56:00 PM
From: broken_cookie	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Design Parameters The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's a exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because That's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads. Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts. So who built these old rutted roads? Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions built the first long distance roads in Europe. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? Roman war chariots first made the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot. Specs and Bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horses ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two warhorses. Now the twist to the story... There's an interesting extension of the story about railroad gauge and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. Thiokol makes the SRBs at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line to the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So a major design parameter of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined by the ancient Romans, based on the width of a horse's ass!

To: Mephisto who wrote (12094)	10/20/1999 3:42:00 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets > > Ford, and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy, and your > > invention...the assembly line for the automobile...changed the > > world. " > > > > As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want." > > > > Ford thinks about it, and says, - "I want to hang out with God > > Himself." > > > > So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and > > introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, - "When you invented > > Woman, what were You thinking?" > > > > God asks, "What do you mean?" > > > > "Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your > > invention: > > > > 1. There's too much front end protrusion. > > 2. It chatters way too much at high speeds. > > 3. Maintenance is extremely high. > > 4. It constantly needs repainting, and refinishing. > > 5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days. > > 6. The rear end wobbles too much. > > 7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust. > > 8. The headlights are usually too small. > > 9. Fuel consumption is outrageous. > > > > Just to name a few." > > > > "Hmmm...," replies God, "Hold on a minute." God goes over to the > > Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for > > the results. In no time the computer prints out a report, and God > > reads it. God then turns to Ford, and says, "It may be that my > > invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men > > are riding my invention than yours."