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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (13626)	3/2/2000 5:08:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62554

The President and Mrs. Clinton are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents. One of them leans over and whispers in the President's ear. Mr. Clinton pauses, then grabs Hillary by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet to the top of the dugout, kicking and screaming obscenities. The President shakes hands of those near him and gets "high five's." The Secret Service agent leans over again and whispers, "Mr. President, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!"

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (13626)	3/2/2000 5:10:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

More amusing product safety tips: On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning Keep out of children. On Marks & Spencer's bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boots' Childrens' Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions Open packet, eat nuts. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins: Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal? On German headphones: Do not increase volume past threshold of pain. On V-tech phone: Electronics, like people, sometimes get confused.

To: Peter S. Maroulis who wrote (13626)	3/2/2000 5:16:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Respond to of 62554

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God. "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun. "There must be something you would have of me," said God. "Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop." "Consider it done," said God. "Blond jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you." "There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun. "Name it. Please," said God. "It's the M&M's," said the nun."They're so hard to peel."