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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (14269)	5/3/2000 5:39:00 PM
From: Scarecrow	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62562

Oh well, I understand Jeb has good diplomatic relations with that banana-republic country south of Florida known as Little Havana <begin off-topic rant> It never ceases to amaze me how you PC libs can scream about hate crimes and speech codes and how important it is to respect all minorities... until one happens to come along and not subscribe to your culture of victimization. Your comment about little Havana isn't the first we've seen (i.e. it's not even original) that denigrates an entire community of nearly 1 million individuals. For comparison and analogy, imagine the outcry if your sentence read: "I understand that those boys Al Sharpton and "Rev." Jesse Jackson have good diplomatic relations with that watermelon-eating, chicken-frying, crack-smoking republic known as Harlem..." But it's totally PC to slander an entire ethnic community if they're conservative... <end off-topic rant> If you have a response for us to endure, take it to one of the political threads and let's keep this a joke thread. Obligatory joke: A neutron walks into a bar and orders a martini. When the bartender hands him the drink, the neutron asks, "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

To: Mike 2.0 who wrote (14269)	5/3/2000 5:58:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62562

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months...and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great,"said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple. "COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"