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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (30192)	12/27/2003 1:34:25 PM
From: Barney	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62549

I think this is so classic..... Subject: Northern California Barbies El Dorado Hills Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold Nordstrom or the Pavillions. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version. Elk Grove Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Elverta Barbie: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. East Sac Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Volvo wagon. Included are a Starbucks travel cup, credit cards, French pedicure and exclusive gym membership. Also available for this set are Real Estate Magnate Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. Auburn Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Granite Bay Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini, Jimmy Choo slides and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at her custom, 12,000 sq.ft. house. Shallow Ken can be found in the cabana making out with Jail Bait Skipper. Percocet prescription recommended. Rio Linda Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Rio Linda Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-ashed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home. Davis Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two Davis Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker free. South Sac Barbie: This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Rancho Murrieta Barbie: With frosted blonde hair and a French manicure, she's perfect in every way. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or golfing. San Francisco Barbie/Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts. The Legislative Consultant Barbie:This realistic, middle aged model is 5 inches taller than the other Barbie's and comes with short hair and several identical pinstripe pantsuits, so she'll be taken seriously. Her face has no makeup but does have dark circles under the eyes from working twice as many hours as the Legislative Ken doll. This Barbie comes with a used Honda Accord, with a backseat full of paperwork, while the matching Ken doll comes with a brand new SUV with a ski rack, golf clubs and an automatic transmission.