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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Michael C. Woodward who wrote (3931)	11/20/1997 10:15:00 PM
From: emidio	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

The New England Medical Journal reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

To: Michael C. Woodward who wrote (3931)	11/27/1997 11:11:00 AM
From: Marc Fortier	Read Replies (4) \| Respond to of 62558

I know of a good golf joke. Here it is: One sunny day of July Fred's foursome is playing is usual game on Whispering Shadows Golf Course. As the four buddys stroll along the winding fairway of hole no. 5, a long and demanding par 5, a hearse followed by a motorcade appears on the road nearby, heading for the catholic cemetery... The event being nothing out of the ordinary, Fred's friends are surprised when they see him stop to walk, pull off his cap and cover his heart in sign of great respect... After a few seconds of disbelief (Fred not being known to Mike, Tom and Jerry for his sensitiveness), Tom, the most religious man of the four, decides to ask him: -- Fred, I am glad to see that you payed respect to the defunct. Have you finally make peace with God? -- Huh! Huh!, answers Fred, , annoyed as he is aligning a 3 iron to the green, between two puffs of cigarette... You see, after 35 years together, I had to say ''Au revoir'' to Charlene...

To: Michael C. Woodward who wrote (3931)	11/27/1997 7:15:00 PM
From: Jeff Sheeran	Respond to of 62558

you want golf jokes??? here is a good one for ya. So this man decides that he is going to kill his wife, but decides that he is going to do it on the golf course. So they get out to the first tee, he takes out his driver and states "honey can you stand over there please" pointing off to the right. Swooosh......tees off and smack.... right in the back of the head, hi wife falls over dead. So a couple days later he is down at the police station and the coroner comes in and says " you know I am about to sign off on this death certificate but I have a couple questions first". The man say "sure ........fire away". So the coroner goes " I can understand the golf ball slicing off the tee and hitting her at the base of the head and killing her, but when I did my autopsy I found another golf ball wedged 3 ft. up her butt...can you explain that??" The man looks at him and smiles " Oh....that.........that was my Mulligan!!" Regards, Jeff

To: Michael C. Woodward who wrote (3931)	11/29/1997 10:37:00 PM
From: Pat W.	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62558

A priest is playing golf and a nun is carrying his clubs. On the 4th hole he slices a ball into the woods and yells "Goddammit i missed" . the nun reproaches him "do not take the Lord's name in vain". the priest agrees and moves on. A few holes later he again hooks a ball into the woods and screams "Goddammit i missed". The skies suddenly have gotten dark and stormy and the nun warns again "do not take the Lord's name in vain". The priest crosses himself and goes on, misses a two foot putt and screams "Goddammit i missed". The clouds take the shape of a hand and there is much lightning and thunder, and the nun again warns "do not take the Lord's name in vain". the priest goes on and at the eighteenth hole misses a six inch putt, throws down his club and yells "Goddammit i missed". A bolt of lightning comes out of the skies, kills the nun dead, and a big booming voice yells out of the skies "GODDAMMIT, I MISSED".