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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Graham C. who wrote (4594)2/3/1998 12:36:00 PM
From: bob  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62549
 
Bill Gates died in a car accident. Arriving at the pearly gates, he
finds himself being sized up by St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to
send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped
society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you
also
created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never
done
before..... I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

"So what's the difference between the two?" Bill asked.

St. Peter said, "I could let you visit both places briefly, if it will
help your decision."

"Fine! Where should I go first?"

"You decide."

"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first.."

So Bill Gates went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in
the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the
temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I'd REALLY like
to see heaven!"

"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in
the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It
was nice, but nothing like Hell. It didn't take long for Bill to reach
his decision.

"I think I prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check
on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got
there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames
in a dark cave, being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill Gates.

His voice filled with anguish and disappointment, Bill responded, "this
is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I
can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place,
with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the
water?"

"Oh, that was a demo," replied St. Peter. "This is the release
version."



To: Graham C. who wrote (4594)2/7/1998 7:24:00 AM
From: William H Huebl  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62549
 
JC Penny is having a sale in honor of Clinton... shorts are half off! And do you know why the prez wears undershorts? To keep his ankles warm.