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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rich Dee who wrote (4756)	2/25/1998 6:21:00 PM
From: SofaSpud	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

40. A few sandwiches short of a picnic.

To: Rich Dee who wrote (4756)	2/26/1998 11:07:00 AM
From: Biggie Smalls	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

These are actual lines out of OER (Officer Efficiency Reports ) -- performance appraisal for the military - Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. - Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. - A room temperature IQ. - Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together. - A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. - A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on. - A prime candidate for natural deselection. - Bright as Alaska in December. - One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests. - Donated his body to science before he was done using it. - Fell out of the family tree. - Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. - Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it. - He's so dense, light bends around him. - If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. - If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. - If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change. - If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. - It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm. - One neuron short of a synapse. - Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled. - Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes. - Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. - Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.