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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Messbauer who wrote (5254)	4/8/1998 8:42:00 PM
From: appro	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with "How much is two plus two?" The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the board room and announcing, "Four." The physicist was next interviewed, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced "Four." The lawyer was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked "How much do you want it to be?" from the collection at: wfu.edu

To: John Messbauer who wrote (5254)	4/9/1998 11:44:00 AM
From: bob	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62549

ist of virus jokes: ELVIS VIRUS: your computer gets fat, slow & lazy, then self-destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls & service stations across America ADAM & EVE VIRUS: takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: you're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore PBS VIRUS: Your program stops every few minutes to ask for money PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack.Once if by LAN/ twice of by C:/ HILARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to reappear mysteriously a year later, in another directory O.J.SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system but you just can't prove it OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB & then slowly expands back to 200 MB AT&T VIRUS: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you're getting MCI VIRUS: Every 3 minutes it tells you you're paying too much for the AT&T virus TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run GALLUP VIRUS: 60% of the PCs infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 % margin of error) DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Their is sumthin rong with your komputer but you can't figyour outt watt HEALTH CARE VIRUS: tests your system for the day, finds nothing wrong & sends you a bill for $4,500