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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: iGregor who wrote (7412)	10/20/1998 6:52:00 PM
From: Scott Moody	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62543

HERE COME THE STORKS - Submitted by Joanne Jeris ==================================== Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy." The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies." A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night. The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

To: iGregor who wrote (7412)	10/21/1998 11:58:00 AM
From: Anthony Graham Poyser	Read Replies (10) \| Respond to of 62543

A few jokes coming up. I hope this one translates OK from UK English... Authentic (allegedly) complaints received by Local Councils from their >>Tenants: I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my >> nob off. >> >> I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he >>Put his foot in the hole in his back passage. >> >> Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls against my >> fence. Not only is this making a hell of a noise, but the fence is now >> sagging in the middle. >> >> This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next >>door. >> >> I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the >>wall. >> >> I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the outside >> toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off. >> >> I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. >> >> The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is >> cleared. >> >> Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour >>and not fit to drink. >> >> Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old age >> pensioner and need it straight away. >> >> I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at >> 5.30 his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much. It's all right >>when my husband is on day-shift, but when he's on back-shifts or nights >I >>get it several times a week from Mr Docherty next door and at my age >it's >> too much. >> >> The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is >> unsightly and dangerous. >> >> Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a >> third, so will you please send someone to do something about it. >> >> The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand? >> >> I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased >>If you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top >>of me every night. >> >> Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the >> wife. >> >> Can you send a carpenter to the house. When the woman next door closed >> the door the other night, she pulled at my knob too hard and now it's >> ready to fall off. >> >> >> >>I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but >>still have no satisfaction. >> >> We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden >> before we move into the house.